10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Gal 1:10
Many of us move through life living to please others but, this is not a trait we picked up when we became older. If you pause and glance back over your way of life, you will recognize this started at childhood.
Pleasing Parents - Doing what they suggest or think is best for you, even when you desired to do something different for worry of them getting upset with you, not supporting or being disappointed in you.
Pleasing Siblings - Not sharing your authentic opinions as not to hurt their feelings or risking developing a tense or distant relationship.
Pleasing Peers - Participating in activities or acting in a particular manner for worry of not fitting in or being accepted.
Pleasing Friends - Unable to tell how you honestly think about various matters, carefully choosing what to say and what not to for fear of the friendship ending.
Pleasing a Boy/Girlfriend - Fear of them ending the relationship or becoming uninterested in you if you appear not to comply or agree with various things.
Pleasing Children - Going into debt to keep giving them material objects so they can feel as though they fit in with their peers.
Pleasing Spouse - Going along with choices you recognize aren’t best for your household, even when God warned you against it. Instead you disobey Him do to your concerns that your spouse will become agitated, removed or unpleased with you.
Pleasing Supervisors/Colleagues - Wanting to ensure your manager is satisfied with your performance; thus, unable to present your views and/or suggestions for fear of being terminated; or seeking to please or fit in with your colleagues so they may identify you likeable.
Pleasing the Church - Joining committees God never lead you to join which requires you to invest more time at church than home, seeking to please and gain the approval from the Pastor or others.
Continuing through life seeking to please everyone can develop into a strenuous form of living. It can develop into a health declining, crushed spirit, joy drainer, no peace never-ending cycle. Nevertheless, the one individual we seem to place in the background of pleasing is Christ.
If you took a few minutes to pause and reflect on some of the decisions you’ve made and why you made them, you will notice a “pleasing” pattern. You will discover many of the decisions you’ve made have been based on pleasing others. Many would express to you “that is the compassionate thing to do.” Do not confuse compassion with self-sacrifice. When we make decisions merely to please others, the results are normally having peace in the relationship. Yet the pleaser often walks around suffering internally because they have been unable to be truthful to themselves and convey how they've actually felt but; in most instances, the moment you chose to make a decision that is not merely to please others, conflict emerges. It may indeed result in you having possible fallouts and damaged relationships.
Now is the moment to ask yourself and decide; who do you choose to please more?
When you conclude to please God, by being faithful to that which He has directed you to do, there will be a negative shift in various individuals actions towards you. Even so, set your complete confidence in Christ, realizing He will take care of those who display negative behavior towards you. (7 When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. (Prov. 16:7, ESV)
When you start allowing God to release you from “people pleasing,” you'll start to see the stress dissolve, fear flee, joy return and the presence of peace return as you’ve never encountered. You will come out walking in the boldness and the affirmation of Christ, with the courage of realizing that in-spite of your shortcomings, how Christ sees you and loves you will not diminish. You’ll rise to take command of those things the enemy has used to place you in bondage. Your relationship with Christ will even transform. Your priorities will be reshuffled and although you will still please those around you, it will no longer be at the expenditures of your relationship with Christ nor yourself, for Christ will give you wisdom and direction in all things.
It’s time to STOP people pleasing!
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